Snap! (revisited)

Waiting for the snap because, I thought, a snap will be all I’ll sense; just a snap and then bright light, the roar of eternity steamrolling everything I am, was, will be. A split second and then all preceding moments dispersed like dust on an empty street, swept up from where each speck had gathered and sent spiraling into oblivion, beyond memory, beyond apprehension. A brief shadow brushed before the sun and then blown across the landscape, diffuse and insubstantial, swallowed up by time and lost forever.

Snap and then nothing else, not even a void.

What’s left is only that which you will perceive, whoever you are, however you announce yourself to be, whatever reason you have for being there. Whatever the snap was, you’ll see its result right away, standing in judgment of the aftermath while ignorant of the precursor. The silent destruction resonates only with the distance set between the instant of sight and a past made irrelevant by sound. It is only after the snap that you will ever know; where one ends, another begins, both disconnected and futile.

Before the snap it’s cold and bitter, the taste of just apple peels and nothing else. Jammed up and entirely committed but still gentle with the soft palate; everything gets counted, considered, contained, a lifetime drawn on the back of a matchbook. A tremulous finger twitches where one last decision will be made. Everything ends where will says, “Fuck it,” and determination is made that the snap is all there is left.